Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Post-quake obituary (訃報) to a drinking buddy.

I used to have a friend.
We drunk long nights away , sang at the Champions 500 yen one coin stand bar till day break. We used to meet at least once a week sometimes even more .
From good old noisy nights outside Shinjuku's Kirin City , to the Dubliner's nearby .
We discussed from pussy to serious maters . We mourned a good Fijian lady full of life and passion death due to cancer. We observed the Pub's counter fauna of rascals , horny fat gouty Gaijin, Nigerian scamming rats, violent drunken with violent streaks towards weaker or quieter people like Mad Jock the Scott . We puffed on cigars from mean crappy ones to Cohibas. We just stood there and drunk till we got fed up at the expensive booze , Suzuki the TWAT's drunken horny crap and Jeremy the cadaverous lush that had one too many. We teased the Cricket maniac Aussie bartender ( he also disappeared long before the quake without as much as a whisper ) and left the joint vowing NEVER to return, but breaking our vows as regularly and as often . The Frog Philipe guzzling away on almost straight gin tonic and trying to scam punters with his acceptable bullshit . Rain , snow, Summer muggy heat nights, typhoon season winds , would never stop us from meeting there at the same place and go thru the same drunken routine ... Sometimes we went to a nearby tachinomiya joint or to Piss Alley by the JR railway tracks and got a belly full on cheap sleazy food and equally cheaper booze . Tori-en comes to mind .
Other times but rarely we met at What the Dickens and listen to low level gaijin bands and just chilled out . Went as far as that pub in Ueno , the Celt where Andy a drug addict and alcoholic met his needs selling booze he often never paid the liquor suppliers till the suppliers got fed up with his bullshit and called the Yakuza Debt collectors . Andy being the sleazy coward he is would somehow cough up the money , not all of it , for he needed a fix , but just enough for the Yakkie to leave . The Celt too was where another SCUMBAG mentioned in this blog and my Website, coke head , liar, pimp, low life Mounty " worked " for a short time till he convinced a not too bright Hotlips to marry him, only to dump the bitch just as soon as he wasted her money and more . Nice rat Mounty is ... Takes one to know one and no wonder Andy sort of took Mounty under his stinking wing .
Yes. I had a friend .
He visited me when I was just out of ICU after had had my limb chopped off . He soon found far away pastures in the Philippines . Fresher and cheaper Poontang ,Booze, Faggs , Eccentric expats either on the Lam or just staying for the same reason us my friend's and found out that he could do the job he did here using his lap top .
" I'll be in and out often . Let's meet for coffee and food " said he . And for a short while he would indeed returned to Edo and found time to chat away with me . He even sent me pictures of that faraway paradise according to him .
I HAD a friend.
BUT , like many a " friend" I had before I chopped my limb off and after the quake , the friend hasn't even bothered to ask if I was alright . An email would be good enough .
NOTHING !!!
Nearly 2 decades of friendship , or so I would call that , and my " friend " never bothered with a simple question many asked me. EVEN my enemies did ask after the big shaker on March 11th at 2:46 PM hit Kantoh : Are you alright ?
NAHH . Not one crocodile tear shed from my dear friend .
In the end , I started to worry that he might have kicked the bucket ... Waited for that email or phone call for 12 days and even before the shaker .
Like rescue squads know only too well , it is impossible and a miracle to find anybody alive after all this time .
No such a thing as miracles . Thus now I am writing this long obituary to my old British and buddy : PETER RICHES.
I wish I knew how to recite the Mourners Kaddish since my friend was of the Jewish faith .

FAREWELL, AU REVOIR, ADEUS etc ... Old friend.

MAY YOU REST IN PEACE .

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