Mac's little Japanese Secret

Ever noticed what happens when you ask a question where the subject is either taboo or you shouldn't openly

ask to a Japanese?

Most will say they don't know anything about the subject. Others will straighten their shoulder blades, roam their eyes from left and right, their lips too sort of smirk slightly and with sotto voce they say, KOKO DAKE NO HANASHI (this is between you and me) and then tell you all about it as NAISHYO DESU YO (Our secret)...

I , often get these type of people .

The kokdake no hanashi can be about anything su

ch as the ex-prime minister Koizumi being sent to " study " in England after he raped a university woman in his university days . True or not depends on your imagination . That or about your ward Mayor's womanizing or filching of ward's funds and more much more.

Lemme tell you about a kokodake no hanashi I have been getting from Yamada Denki and Bic camera mobile sales men and yesterday I got the same one from the Ikebukuro Sunshine60 Softbank manager .

iPhone is a crappy piece of junk but because I bought one as dead stock at Yamada Denki Ikebukuro (15.890 yen) days before the newer model came onto the JP market and because I am a MAC user, hence I took the risk .

There's plenty of good stuff missing that are in Japanese mobile phones and irritatingly too, the one I got anyway, has a shitty short lived battery . I charge that babe for a few hours and go about my business and depending on the day the battery runs out of juice.

I don't even listen to music or watch movies on the gizmo - Just texting and sending some pictures now and

then . Five times I have been left stranded with a dead mobile . I don't use it to pick up crabby Shibuya gals or to call the local Iranian drug pusher for MDMA/Shabu /Angel dust like that c%@$ NORIPPI and her hubby used to before they got nabbed or Monty Giddings the scamster in my web site, nor to check web sites, maps etc .

No sir, I use it to stay in contact with family, my doctor or head nurse, to get immediate instructions when my blood sugar level gets too low or too high or to ask for h

elp when, rarely, my Kraut power wheelchair runs out of battery or has a flat tire .

That's when my iPhone battery runs out and the f@$king toy blacks out .

But this is Tokyo for f@$k's sake. I can soon find a Bic Camera and ride into the shop, ask for a portable battery charger for my portable iphone and get a " No

can do " from the attendant .

NANANIIIiiii ( WHAAAAT? ) you got all kind of iPhone related junk accessories selling right there and no charger . NANDE ?? ( Why the f@$k not?).

Dude tells me that they aren't allowed by MAC to sell such items, that I got go to a MAC shop and buy me one . MAKOTO NI SUMIMASEN (I am truly sorry).

I am desperate and shout to the p$@*k to charge my iPod using the display cable they have right in front of me. No can do belly belly solly m( _ _ )m is the answer I received.

I turn the chair around to leave and the dude comes u

p to me and gives me the now too familiar sly look and tells me "Shikashi Koko Dake No Hanashi" (But, between you and me) he said Bic Camera sells a charger capable of charging almost any mobile phone including iPhone . THAT was what I was trying to buy asshole! ( Doh Aho ). He keeps up in the sotto voce and tells me "SHIKASHI ( BUT ) MAC doesn't authorize us to sell it to iPhone users but since you seem in trouble (KOMATERU DAKARA ) ...

Feeling relief coming over me I said MAC KUSSOU KURAE ( MAC can eat s*@t ) MAC after all built shitty batteries that run out soon and leaves us stranded without a chance of charging the gizmo at the local KONBINI store like ANY other mobiles can . F**K MAC I'll buy it .

It's 4,600 yen ( WOW !) BOTTAKURI (highway robbery / ripp off) but I'm getting the money and he goes, "DEMO ( BUT ) we don't have the short cable that comes with the iPod/iPhone so you need to go either MAC shop or use the one included with your gizmo . WHAM !! OUCH that hurts . He still tells me that MAC Cartel has the control over those cables so that BIC Camera won't sell them separately either .

Now , let me put my shit together; THEY have a portable charger that charges almost ANY mobile selling in Japan including iPhone but no USB cable to connect it to the charger. I am supposed NOT to tell MAC about it, pay for a useless chink gizmo that won't work right away and charge my iPhone when I get home.

What the f@*k !!!

I tell him to drop dead and to f@*k off and leave empty handed.

That night for three hours I was out of touch with my friends and M and they were searching for me because I didn't sent my usual all is fine messages I do daily.

The second time that it happened, I went to LABI/Yamada Denki and got the same Farce (CHABAN).

Yesterday too, I go stuck. I needed to tell people I am ok because I went to Boot Camp Stalag (hard core rehab center controlled by JR) and was nearby Sunshine60 where, I knew there is a Softbank place.

Guess what? The manager gave me the same TARAIMAWASHI (Kokodakenohanashi). The little bonus was that when asked why does MAC allow you to hustle the iPhone and other accessories related but doesn't give you one of the main and most needed tools, the portable charger to sell to punters in need, and then you pump me a crappy model that I am supposed to keep from Mac's eyes ?

He gave me an even slyer look and said "Mac does know we sell these under the counter so to speak and MAC gets its nice rebate too from Softbank's Non-recommended sales like the charger (albeit the USB cable). After all, MAC and Softbank are in bed together (SHIRI KYODAI "as

s hole brothers literally") Don't you see the scam ?"

I saw it only too well brother .

Kokodake no hanashi (ここだけの話 ), between you and me : NEXT TIME I GO TO A MAC SHOP I will ask and tell them to shove their scams up their wide scumbag asshole

s .

Koko Dake No Hanashi of course ..

The Days of Wine and Roses and Vinegar.

Paris Early '80s Chapter 1

I had it all, or at least what I wanted and where I wanted, or so I thought .

The FFL was over for me . Post Traumatic Stress caused me to shoot a p$@*k in the knee during 14th July celebrations in

Marseilles . He is still around but with a shattered knee of course but that's another story you might never hear.

Or so George Marchais and his party CANNARD ENCHAINEE ( Chained Duck ) news paper declared anyway. Shrinkers and lawyers said in the kangaroo court I was thrown in after the shooting. I was conditioned to " cleanse " by Pompidou's men and I ended up being declared temporary insane and got thrown out of FFL with a slap in the hand and a lot of " shut up money " and connections . I also saved a lot from my salary because there was no place to waste the money while travelling around with travel expenses paid and bonuses, coutesy of the French and it's clients .

Straight away I got work galore . The main one was to baby sit weird hungry Japanese people through a Japanese Travel agency called Kinki Tourist on Opera Avenue.

In the early 80's, the Japanese were pouring into Europe via over paid rip-off (BOTAKURI) tours organized by JAL mostly . Four or five main European cities were popular; London, Paris, Rome, Geneva and Dusseldorf. Punters paid around 700,000 JPY for a 9 day tour up front and wasted three or four times that amount feeding hungry escorts and local guides in " optional tours" and of course the BOTAKURI tax free shops which were mostly Yakuza owned. Yamanaka tax free shop on Palais Royal, Miss Paris, Paris Opera and other tiny money sucking operations were mostly situated on Opera Avenue, Fauboug St. Honore, Madeleine (whores too) and expanded all the way to the St. Germain Boulevard .

Visa over-staying Japanese hard core Francophones, that were royally screwed by corrupt French immigration and the cops were suddenly en vogue...

Many French men had to have their Petite Japonaise in bed and the Japanese males were happy to give ass or serve some of the faggot joints on the Rue St Anne. Serious over-stayers kept on joining Alliance Francaise (Paris University 3rd ward or Sorborne as it was proudly called), a French government owned sham language school and a recruiting field for mafia, crooks, terrorists, pimps and Japanese cannibalistic Yakuza connected, future tax-free shops on the look out for slave workers and believe me THEY got those slaves all the time.

Around that time in 1981, the Japanese cannibal Sagawa Issei (aged32) raped and killed his plump rosy Dutch girlfriend and ate her raw and fried, little by little, while storing her body in a deep freezer outside his Paris suburban place which gave another bizarre boost to Japanese popularity. Sagawa, before joining the French sham Alliance Francaise, tried to kill and eat a German Tourist here in Japan. He got arrested but the rich father bribed the girl and cops and the guy got sent to France to " study " French. Henri Colland, the French Cuckoo's nest for the FFL, Indochina war PTSD and high class cannibals, declared Sagawa insane. While interned there a movie director offered to make a movie on his life story ...

Anyway, after a stint in the Frog Cuckoo's Nest and declared insane he was deported and shut in a high class cuckoos nest joint in Setagaya ward, Hachiman yama for - get this - one year...

Japanese Law and the shrinks said he wasn't insane and was faking - this while his daddy bribed the interpreter and the poor interpreter was under immense pressure by the French Government to get rid of the weird ASAP. They got rid of Sagawa by declaring him innocent by insanity, burned his files (?) and told the Japanese police to f@*k off as "he is your problem from the start- Au Revoir".

And so it was done. He is now free and roams around Ginza and other areas on the look-out for retarded chicks that want to eat s@*t and drink p@*s while tied up with a KAMEYAMA lit candle up their asses and/or their snatches. He's considered a "writer" as he's written books about cannibalism and now goes to symposiums where Japs shout " Yo! Kuidoraku " meaning Hey Gormet in Japanese. Another bizarre happy case to file.

Back to the dark city of light;

Japanese culture was having a boom. Females sucked the right dick and managed to become rich horny toads concubines and some even married rich guys only to open their own " Petite Boutique Hors Taxes " in the Opera 1st ward area. Erotic movies like " L'empire des Senses " where a woman f@*ked her lover and then chopped his dick off when he went to look for better pastures and Samurai movies like RAN a Kusosawa movie with sissy boy Peter and the stupid SHOGUN with some gaijin faggot and Shimada Yoko the kleptomaniac, money greedy psycho all fuelled the fire. Sony's blue silver WALKMAN (I got one from a J client) fast and game machines like DONKEY KONG, Space Invaders and PACMAN, helped the Japanese woman to be a very fashionable possession for French mother complexed male. The J men had to either shut up, pimp out of rich old French women or take it up the ass on Rue St Anne by the Opera Avenue.

Everything was around the Opera area. Whores, pimps, tax free rip offs, faggot clubs, Nisho Iwai office, Paris Miki glass shop, Miki Tourist, Mitsukoshi Tax Free, Lancel, Japanese Restaurants and a J supermarket.

Even the now defund cartel yakuza ass kissing , money laundering TOKYO BANK with it's over charged foreign exchange tax rates and a book store down stairs .

It was a free for all...

Fake over priced French Restaurants had Japanese menus too. The sleazy porn shops on the Pigalle area too had signs in broken Japanese and used Vietnamese attendants while controlled by Israeli/Armenian and Arab bosses. Equally sleazier strip joints along the Pigalle/Blanche area too were ready for sucking money from Japanese males. Easter Europe fake painters roamed Place du Teatre in Monmartre targeting Japanese mainly after the Americans, Brits, Germans and Dutch but most of all, Japanese punters fed a whole lot of cannibalistic buzzards for more than a decade.

Hawaii was for fools. Especially after the Yamaguchi Gumi Taoka and his goons got caught buying guns, bazookas, etc from an FBI snitch. Everybody had been to Hawaii , Saipan and Guam at least once. Ripe suckers had been there five or ten times. So the main challenge was of course Europe; London, Paris and Rome. From Paris they took planes or trains to Geneva (no crappy TGVs back then) and Yungfrau in Interlaken. From Rome they rode night trains to

Brindisi into Greece for an exhausting day and night of further money wasting. Others took charted buses (no way they let such a suckers mix with the locals in normal train trips) or leased all night express trains from Rome to Switzerland/Austria under heavy guard from greedy escorts. Those escorts milked them for anything and hauled their passports and other valuables to make sure none of them were filched by similar " escorts " or real thieves. For years Japanese were milked and incredible as it might sound there were repeaters galore. Word of mouth got around and honey mooners were targeted; so were retirees. Parents and friends used to drop tons of money onto the newly married pockets, specially Aichi or country areas where marriages were so damn lavish that the couple couldn't find a place in their money belts to transport the cash an in those days, credit cards were still hard to get.

Escorts from Japan and back made most of the rebate and " SHINOGI " - Yakuza for shady business. The escorts milked the punters and the local escorts, tax free shops, restaurants, cabarets, Lido , Moulin Rouge, Follie Bergere mega discos, Pigalle pimps and more. Hotels were built out of nowhere PARIS NIKKO HOTEL was one of them, the Concord Hotel chain too made tons of extra money. The IBIS, Hilton, Intercontinental to name but a few. The Fauboug St Honore street got over-loaded with a new tax free shop every three months and Japanese restaurants also popped out of nowhere. (Now there are fake chink restaurants all over Paris). There are very few of the real thing left. Openly Yakuza owned joints like the Osaka Ramen restaurant with an unofficial MAJAN game on the basement and the Yamaka Tax Free shop on Palais Royal Square.

It was an endless wave of money waving Japanese punter everywhere in Paris, London, Geneva, Rome and Dusseldorf (they used to ride them boats down the Rhine river ). It got wider spreading to Madrid and Barcelona. Europe was invaded by loaded Japanese .

Of course, lurking behind all that happy-go-round vicious circle there were even darker SHINOGI buzzards .

Pigalle Porn shops milked Japanese by accusing them of opening porn books from their plastic covers and after leafing through them just dropped them back on the stalls. That's true but they called hefty goons not to let them out of the shop without coughing three four time the amount of the value (if they were lucky). Escorts had their own porn movie and magazine racket. They were illegal to bring into Japan and in many cases the same escorts recommended the horny punters to buy chocolate boxes, throw the choco out and put the porn movie in them and for another fee the escorts would seal them back up. So plenty of chocolate eating Japs were pouring back from Europe. A sweet tooth epidemic indeed. Other porn shops came out with the funny idea of shipping the stuff to the punter for another fee. The punter happily agreed and never saw the goods again because the porn shop guy just pocketed the money and resold the stuff to another gullible horny Jap and so on and so on. No complainers either because they were doing an illegal gig .

Cabarets used to drop mickeys into the fake champagne bottles and when the punter fell asleep he had all his money and values stolen and was then promptly thrown out onto the street. The same cabaret and restaurants double charged, if the Japs were lucky of course, for their wares. Gypsy bands of pickpockets were based in the Montreil and a camping place in the suburbs areas of Paris with stolen bags full of cash and passports . The passports were sold to the Yakuza and Japanese Red Army fugitives. Later North Korean spies too became avid clients. The Metro was loaded with different type of pickpockets too. Rome was where the bag snatchers were at first but Gypsy pickpockets were en vogue the most.

Japanese escorts were at a loss. They didn't speak the local lingo and knew nothing about local customs either. Most were cheaters that " studied " guide books of the area they went to most, learned broken phrases and in fact relied on the very same locally long term living Japanese while milking their margin out of them too. The escorts figured that they could learn more out of their own punters imbecility. Who needed to go to school for that ? For a JALPAK or LOOK 200 punter tour during 9 or 14 days, three escorts could make five million yen each, easily. Multiply that by five as a yearly norma and that guy or gal made enough to get greedier and retire in five or ten years. And some did make it big .

As I said, a free for all.

Enter trouble shooter Antonio...

COMING SOON!

**Tachioka aka Tachi-warui-Oka aka Stinker-Tachioka .

Conman feeding on Japanese disable Health system for more than two decades . A long list of mischief and cheating . When is the law gonna stop the likes of him ?

** George Hoshino - Self acclaimed Fake Knight of Templar . Pimping bored rich old beedies of Korean ascendance . Said to be with CIA / Kohan / American Chamber of Commerce / North Korean Spy and other crappy BS . A pimp and a sleaze . Saw this guy around Canadian Embassy compound parties ? Need info on his whereabouts . ASAP !!

*** iRobot sham . How people are led to buy it on the net only to get a dud that breaks after have been used only twice and the TARAIMAWASHI abusive mails coming from both the States and Japan!

A Letter from Delta

I had 80.000 American Air miles and around 60.000 Delta miles.

I've just found out the American Air miles has already burned out and are useless; they sent me no notification that they were going to expire and as for Delta's, I got a nice letter telling me the mileage will blow in a month. A polite F@*k you from Delta or an impolite F@*k you from American Air are still F@*K YOU's. 'M' and other Japanese people have lost their Delta mileage because Delta REFUSES to use Japanese in their Love and Cuddle missives. They are very keen to get the money when selling the tickets and like any bad whore, they simpley don't give a flying f@*k about the client's feelings and wishes.

Nobody flies American Air or Delta out of pleasure but because the Cartel imposes the whip and the carrot of unwritten laws into people's minds. The carrot being of course being mileage points and the whip being their unfriendly, discriminative attitude towards foreign clients. LEARN ENGLISH OR F@*K OFF SUCKERS seems to be their company motto.

Delta's unfriendly service is legendary at least here in Japan and their " Japan is the 51st state " crappy attitude simply says it all.

Hussein Barrack's " Yes we Can " still has to be translated to its true meaning.

Delta and AA suck and like many American Enterprises, they simple don't give a shit about clients feelings UNLESS the client is a big butt kissing one and then he or she will get butt kissed in return. I am going to Seattle if I can because I don't want to let my Delta mileage go into thin air. Or I just might tell them to kiss my cripple white butt and f@*k off.

And while we're on shitty airlines, SWISSAIR.

When I took my trip to PARIS in 2006, the air stewardesses NEVER called me by my name but used to announce rather loudly every time I wanted to get water or something, " Die DIABETTEN ( the diabetic ) is calling or wants water " with plenty of despite and a snarl on their mustached bovine snouts.

It was a true depressing 20 hours with these cows NEVER to be repeated as long as I live.

Open the Gates!

Open The Gates You T@%ts!

Get Me On The Train You T@%ts!

The two signs above are signs I use to enter the Tobu line gates and exits.

Their entrance to the TOBU line in Ikebukuro was redone and looks like those places I used to have to enter every time I needed to enter Berlin in the old days . The VOLPOS and the West German Grenze Polizei forced you to put your passport in a conveyor belt and after ten minutes it appeared smeared with a stamp and I suspect spit, authorizing you to enter WEST BERLIN, NOT East Berlin and on you went through the forboding machine gun towers into the van and then drove two more hours into BERLIN WEST not EAST .

Besides that, the f@$king TOBU entrance kiosk reeks of stale tobacco and I have to take my pass out of the holder and give it to them. In these days of germs and swine flu epidemics, why should I let them touch my card physically? Aren't diabetics the top priority ones after HARA BOTEI (bloated belly) bitches ?

I gotta wipe it clean with alcohol induced tissues to try to clean whatever scummy invisible and sometimes visible goo those asses impregnated my PASMO card with . They don't even wear masks either nor thin non-slippery gloves ...

To make it worse , EVERYTIME I have to ride the f@$king train they shout in the blower that a " Special Client is boarding" and ridding the caboodle carriage to so and so station "

Some other wheelchair bearers told me it gives them PTSD to hear that .

Another thing is when the guy lowers the ramp for me to enter and exit the train some of them don't put it right and my short hairs stand with fear cos the slope slips outwards and the retard doesn't give a f@$k. I will let the f@$king thing slip away on purpose when I got the sadistic streak in me and charge JR / Metro or even Tobu for damages one of these days .

Worse still is when the attendant isn't waiting for you at the station . The worst JR stations are AKIHABARA followed by TAKADANOBABA and EBISU. So far. Metro NEVER gives a shit about you specially the Meiji Jingu Station; I've got proof of that f@$k up.

I finally make it to my station only to have to beg the attendant to OPEN the Caboodle gate. What is the 2,000,000 yen large caboodle gate there for ? Although the gate is made for use in both ways, an in and out system, the caboodle one NEVER lets me or others people through without shouting to the creep inside the booth . Either he touches buttons and it opens or orders you to give your PASMO to him so that he can let me out.

F@$K IT ALL !!

Sometimes the attendant is jiving a pretty babe giving her extra unnecessary directions and I am supposed to wait even if I need to go to the f@$king John ASAP .

I got me those basic signs and also use a heavy metal rod or one of my silver rings to wake them up and I might get a glass cutting pointer and scratch the f@$king window till one day it explodes.

The Metro station KOTAKE MUKKAIHARA even shuts its curtains after 8 PM . God forbid if I need to use the f@$king station after 8 PM.

Will take picture of that strange phenonema one day .

Tokyo Women University Hospital

Kannoh Sensei. The only busy lady there. She's a cool lady.

Tokyo Women University Hospital Footcare Bottakuri Sign.

As of Jan 1st, they have tripled the price for the doctors to sleep. (See below).

Foot guy taking 40 winks.

Swine Flu alert! Tell us about it.

Unfortunately, the computers are not working and the signs

don't indicate where you're supposed to tell them.

The English simply says 'Let us know if you have a fever.'

The Slayer of Vanity

This mask was given to me by a YAMABUSHI, a mountain monk near Koyasan in Nara prefecture. An expert offered me 12,000,000 Yen for it (the box was damaged). The YAMABUSHI wanted to be rid of it as it brought the whole clan bad luck.

Japanese Words To Freak You Out

Tenuki - Skimping

Kakusekyu - Double Charging

Taraimawashi - To give someone the runaround.

Bottakuri - Rip off! Anything that you buy or sell that is over-priced.

Go to Tokyo University Women Hospital Blog.

Bottakuriya - A rip-off merchant.

Horidashiya - Someone who has been kicked out for not paying their rent.