Ever noticed what happens when you ask a question where the subject is either taboo or you shouldn't openly
ask to a Japanese?
Most will say they don't know anything about the subject. Others will straighten their shoulder blades, roam their eyes from left and right, their lips too sort of smirk slightly and with sotto voce they say, KOKO DAKE NO HANASHI (this is between you and me) and then tell you all about it as NAISHYO DESU YO (Our secret)...
I , often get these type of people .
The kokdake no hanashi can be about anything su
ch as the ex-prime minister Koizumi being sent to " study " in England after he raped a university woman in his university days . True or not depends on your imagination . That or about your ward Mayor's womanizing or filching of ward's funds and more much more.
Lemme tell you about a kokodake no hanashi I have been getting from Yamada Denki and Bic camera mobile sales men and yesterday I got the same one from the Ikebukuro Sunshine60 Softbank manager .
iPhone is a crappy piece of junk but because I bought one as dead stock at Yamada Denki Ikebukuro (15.890 yen) days before the newer model came onto the JP market and because I am a MAC user, hence I took the risk .
There's plenty of good stuff missing that are in Japanese mobile phones and irritatingly too, the one I got anyway, has a shitty short lived battery . I charge that babe for a few hours and go about my business and depending on the day the battery runs out of juice.
I don't even listen to music or watch movies on the gizmo - Just texting and sending some pictures now and
then . Five times I have been left stranded with a dead mobile . I don't use it to pick up crabby Shibuya gals or to call the local Iranian drug pusher for MDMA/Shabu /Angel dust like that c%@$ NORIPPI and her hubby used to before they got nabbed or Monty Giddings the scamster in my web site, nor to check web sites, maps etc .
No sir, I use it to stay in contact with family, my doctor or head nurse, to get immediate instructions when my blood sugar level gets too low or too high or to ask for h
elp when, rarely, my Kraut power wheelchair runs out of battery or has a flat tire .
That's when my iPhone battery runs out and the f@$king toy blacks out .
But this is Tokyo for f@$k's sake. I can soon find a Bic Camera and ride into the shop, ask for a portable battery charger for my portable iphone and get a " No
can do " from the attendant .
NANANIIIiiii ( WHAAAAT? ) you got all kind of iPhone related junk accessories selling right there and no charger . NANDE ?? ( Why the f@$k not?).
Dude tells me that they aren't allowed by MAC to sell such items, that I got go to a MAC shop and buy me one . MAKOTO NI SUMIMASEN (I am truly sorry).
I am desperate and shout to the p$@*k to charge my iPod using the display cable they have right in front of me. No can do belly belly solly m( _ _ )m is the answer I received.
I turn the chair around to leave and the dude comes u
p to me and gives me the now too familiar sly look and tells me "Shikashi Koko Dake No Hanashi" (But, between you and me) he said Bic Camera sells a charger capable of charging almost any mobile phone including iPhone . THAT was what I was trying to buy asshole! ( Doh Aho ). He keeps up in the sotto voce and tells me "SHIKASHI ( BUT ) MAC doesn't authorize us to sell it to iPhone users but since you seem in trouble (KOMATERU DAKARA ) ...
Feeling relief coming over me I said MAC KUSSOU KURAE ( MAC can eat s*@t ) MAC after all built shitty batteries that run out soon and leaves us stranded without a chance of charging the gizmo at the local KONBINI store like ANY other mobiles can . F**K MAC I'll buy it .
It's 4,600 yen ( WOW !) BOTTAKURI (highway robbery / ripp off) but I'm getting the money and he goes, "DEMO ( BUT ) we don't have the short cable that comes with the iPod/iPhone so you need to go either MAC shop or use the one included with your gizmo . WHAM !! OUCH that hurts . He still tells me that MAC Cartel has the control over those cables so that BIC Camera won't sell them separately either .
Now , let me put my shit together; THEY have a portable charger that charges almost ANY mobile selling in Japan including iPhone but no USB cable to connect it to the charger. I am supposed NOT to tell MAC about it, pay for a useless chink gizmo that won't work right away and charge my iPhone when I get home.
What the f@*k !!!
I tell him to drop dead and to f@*k off and leave empty handed.
That night for three hours I was out of touch with my friends and M and they were searching for me because I didn't sent my usual all is fine messages I do daily.
The second time that it happened, I went to LABI/Yamada Denki and got the same Farce (CHABAN).
Yesterday too, I go stuck. I needed to tell people I am ok because I went to Boot Camp Stalag (hard core rehab center controlled by JR) and was nearby Sunshine60 where, I knew there is a Softbank place.
Guess what? The manager gave me the same TARAIMAWASHI (Kokodakenohanashi). The little bonus was that when asked why does MAC allow you to hustle the iPhone and other accessories related but doesn't give you one of the main and most needed tools, the portable charger to sell to punters in need, and then you pump me a crappy model that I am supposed to keep from Mac's eyes ?
He gave me an even slyer look and said "Mac does know we sell these under the counter so to speak and MAC gets its nice rebate too from Softbank's Non-recommended sales like the charger (albeit the USB cable). After all, MAC and Softbank are in bed together (SHIRI KYODAI "as
s hole brothers literally") Don't you see the scam ?"
I saw it only too well brother .
Kokodake no hanashi (ここだけの話 ), between you and me : NEXT TIME I GO TO A MAC SHOP I will ask and tell them to shove their scams up their wide scumbag asshole
s .
Koko Dake No Hanashi of course ..
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