I am Ojiki

Ojiki, in Italy they call them Vecchio Consiglieri. An old counselor, a title of respect for a mafiosi that survived a life of HELL and is semi-retired. He advises new goons on the facts of life and acts as a grandfather sort of figure.

The Yakuza now call me that.

They went as far as proposing a honorary Ojiki tittle thus I can use a couple of drivers, slaves at anytime and have a monthly pension. As for other non-Yakuzas with this title, I only know one that died of old age that had had this honour. I can also get a pension of 2 million per year till I croak, courtesy of the syndicate in Kobe.

" I'll think about it " is the answer I give them EVERY year for the past four years.

In life you never know and IF I become a vegetable the young goons will come in handy to pull the plug; no way I will submit to the indignities of have to get my arse wiped or fed with a tube. My elder daughter agreed to pull the plug or be my KAISHAKU like she said. Yakkies do come handy.

Last week in Toyosu, I went to the yearly TORITATEYA no BONNENKAI at the " library ". It's a big warehouse not far from Kachidoki bridge days. 7 or 8 rows of long tables, goodies galore with number tags on them. Rolexes, Dunhill gold lighters and lots more were auctioned fast before the Buffet started, later leading to 2010 hottest TORITATEYA tales of " heroism, wit and horror" and finally Nationalistic, old fashion DO-ENKA songs from Kitajima Saburo etc. Young aspiring Toritteya guys and girls served us and took empty trays etc. away to bring in new goodies like lobster, crab and meat etc....

I wondered why I joined them two decades ago. Nice, weird tribe and they, apart from a few, never got thrown in the slammer; the Shysters too were there. The ones that use the law to break and make tons of money too. Suddenly Ishimaru and the DaiGashira from Sumiyoshi Rengo stood up and saluted me, my lack of greed, wiseness and a lot more crap I never knew I had and called everybody to salute the BUDO KIBA OJIKI for showing them new simple ways of Toritateya and non physical but mental pressure blah , blah , blah... 1oo and so rascals shouted KAMPAI and I thought I was gonna be offed afterwards. " So be it " I was relieved in a way.

Four hours later thew party was over, some even bought Italian sports cars and more luxury items in the auction. Somebody suggested a bout of Hanafuda, I bid my goodbyes and see yous around my pocket full of MEISHI with family crests on them. The MC in charge, Tomari, called me and put a fat envelope on my hand. 3 million yen and a couple of open go return tickets first class to Europe by JAL. Knowing them I didn't say a thing apart from ARIGATOU and exited.

The word OJIKI is what it means: an old, respected semi-retired, honorable Yakuza. I will put the Kanji name besides mineo. Not many Japs know the meaning anyway.

Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!

It was on the American Forces radio: from tomorrow a Jewish Holiday ( name I can't remember ) will start. It seems that those of the Jewish tribe, light up Menorah with 8 burning candles by the window. The fire fighters URGE the ditto Tribe members to keep a fire extinguisher or a bucket of water near the Menorah in cases it burns the curtains or whatever is nearby the Menorahs that can catch fire easily.

Well, I got news for you Jews and fire fighters alike: We Gentiles also have easy to cause fire non-Menorah artifacts. They are called iPods, iPads, iPhones, iMacs, iPowerBooks Pro and non Pro alike all courtesy of Blow Jobs Stevies and the Chink Goonies in Silly C$%t Valley, Cupertino, Kaliphornya. Believe me iShit you not. Haul a miniature fire extinguisher or a water pet bottle since a bucket would be hard to carry even in the infamous Tokyo Metro.

Happy Holiday and Mazel Tov !!

http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/ipod-fire.htm

WE DON'T WANT THEM.

Send them back to the Philippines, not Japan.

http://newsonjapan.com/html/newsdesk/article/85327.php

A password for Blondie

During a recent password audit, it was found that a

blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyEdinburgh

When asked why she had such a long password, she said

she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters

long and include at least one capital.

NHK SUCKS BLUES

Wifey have been working as a cameraperson for 20 years and is also a certified archivist and a couple more things I can't remember now.

She was also one of the first female cameraperson in her sort of job.

For nearly 20 years she when all over the globe hauling a heavy camera and the equipment related with that toy ( spare battery pack, Beta cam tapes, tripod and her own attire that grew heavier when she was in places like Turkey or Africa for a couple of months. She also wasted tons of money on phone calls to talk to me on those long trips. Ten years or more ago we didn't own a computer let alone chat using Skype. Once because she got sick and had need of moral support we wasted 360.000 yen on KDDI phone calls.

For years, she has been harassed by the f$%king old satyrs. She didn't bend and took it in the arse being sexually harassed with sarcastic comments about her boobs or the fact she didn't wear make up and preferred 511 tactical wear to womanly skirts ... She always was ready to drop everything at a phone call to relieve a sick or hurt fellow cameraperson. Several times she flew to no lands end Hicksville Alaska, Somalia, Mumbai and more s£$thole to bring a new camera to replace one another fellow cameraperson had either dropped in a river when a mother Grizzly went for him ( I would too if an asshole stinking of garlic , booze and nicotine pointing a bazooka like device to me and my cubs - wouldn't anybody ?) or another idiot took a nap on a bench in Somalia and the 5 million yen camera was swiped by the local thief ( they all thieves and whores around that sh£$hole anyway ).

She got a hernia or sorts because a faggot young bastard made her haul his sound equipment for almost a kilometer in an American Air Force Tarmac, carrying her camera too. The little fart drunk too much the previous night and was feverish. Two long months with a f£$king plaster around her body and lying in bed trying not to move while I did all cooking and towel washing for her cos no way she could move that much even to go and take a leak.

Rain or shine no matter the time, wifey took all crap NHK threw at her.

When a so called director KURAZAKI EIKI, filched money out of expenses using MY name thru a few years even if I never seen him since 1993. He used my Osaka days alias to open an account in the Osaka Umeda branch of Daiichi kangyo bank, that now goes by a different name, and promised the Takumi yakuza related gang of hoods to share it in exchange for hot news. Later he couldn't touch a cent cos the law demanded proof of identity and Antonio Tsudome didn't exist since it was my non de guerre. The yakuza threatened to break every bone in his rotten body and feed him to the sharks if he didn't cough up the money.

KURACHAN came up with the wonderful idea to accuse me of filching the money ( 20 / 30 million yen '?') to the Shukkan Gendai hyenas and thought I was either dead or would never find out about his Judas like treachery. Well I did and caused so much trouble that the NH , KOHO ( PR = KEMPEITAI GOONS ) tried to bribe wifey with a nice 5 LDK and a raise of salary for just keeping me under control. Wifey of course told them to F£$K OFF. So did I. I simply told the KOHO BUZZARDS to give me KURACAN's head on a silver platter and they and the yakuza they so friendly with, could share the filched money if the bank was stupid enough to go against banking laws and give it to them. I didn't care, KURACHAN'S head on a platter fresh and warm from the chopping board OR I will keep the s£$t blowing on thrill faces.

Wifey got all sort of harassment from the KOHO section but she kept up her integrity and so did I EVEN after three Kobe Number BMW ridding goons ambushed me on 22nd of June 2005 late night in front of my place. I ended up with a broken head from an aluminum baseball bat cuddle, but then idiots ended eating my size 13 , 511 tactical boots on their faces, teeth etc et al. I called a reporter, got pics taken of my bleeding head and the story was on the magazine the week after the fact. More pressure to wifey, ignoring me, KOHO helped KURACHAN to hide in NHK'S safe, love hotel nearby for weeks and in a safe house in Kugayama, Suginami Ward till I found it out. Before I got there, a turncoat that had been using my connections and info to do documentaries in his name for ages, ratted to KURACHAN ABOUT MY INCOMING VISIT. KURACHAN, helped by KOHO and other top rats, ran and keeps on hiding even now cos he knows I will get him sooner or later.

All this time wifey stood her ground went about her business, but s£$t started to happen when they stuck her in a low level satellite section for four years. NHK now uses expendable SOTOPRO, independent contractors to do most of the work cos they, in theory are easy to sack. NHK salaried ones aren't easy to get rid off because of the so-called Union. The Union never did anything drastic, why should it when it's getting paid from employee salaries to rat on them or do NOTHING when needed, above the written protocol?

AMAKUDARY ZANMAI, is the word most NHK salaried people say when talking about " the Union ". 20 long years of pain, sweat and tears and wifey gets less pay than when she had only 5 years under her belly. Certainly less than the new comers that got in thanks to connections. Of Make inu loser females that all they do is spread their tights and have brats galore for a period of five, six years. They just get back to do desk jobs and bitch about how hard it is to keep a kid, " work " and get stuffed again with semen... These sluts often come out of nowhere and expect childless by choice females like wifey to dance their music and worse still, sit between them listening to their bitching grievances about motherhood.

They never mention the sweet double income they get 'cos their whoring hubbies are " directors " in NHK. Directors that don't know about directing but get up to 800,000 yen a month plus half year bonuses to do NOTHING but buy Alfa Romeos, f£$k chink or other whores and keep their twat wives either pregnant or bitching at work about life. Of course these leeches live with their parents in big houses ten minutes to half hour from NHK. I am talking about a round million yen at least for both of these buzzards.

In short : today, a holiday and many holidays before ( mind you the " UNION and LABOR law stipulates a 5 day off a month to the likes of wifey plus in case of paragraph 69 Three more days off. Paragraph 69 refers to menstrual pain ). Wifey gets nil, nothing, nada, nix. Today she is WAITING in a poxy clinic waiting for some brat to pop up with the, get this, MUMPS ( Ohtafuku ) and film the whole crappy affair.

TWENTY F£$KING LONG YEARS CAREER. ALL OVER THE GLOBE IN SITUATION A MALE COUNTER PART WOULD S£$T HIS PANTS, TO END UP WITH A LOW 400.000 yen SALARY GIVE AND TAKE A FEW AND GETTING CRAPY JOBS LIKE FILMING MUMPY BRATS ON A PERFECT SUNNY HOLIDAY WIFEY HADNT HAD FOR A WHILE.

WIFEY HAS TO DO A LOT OF PAPERWORK RELATED WITH OUR LIFES AND MY DISABILITY. THESE DAYS OFF ARE SUPPOSED TO SHAPE UP OR GRIND OUR AXES WAITING FOR IMPENDING ATTACKS BY CORRUPT HEALTH MINISTRY OR OTHER BIG SLOBS.

Others got bribes, filched mone , got arrested for insider money schemes, perverted ones got transferred to ATAGOYAMA'S NHK LIBRARY, nicknamed the CUCKOO NEST or THE WITCHES CAULDRON AND A WHOLE LOT OF SCUMBAGS LEECHING GOOD SALARIES FOR DOING NOTHING WORTH.

Wifey has the s£$t end and she has a crippled hubby sort of homebound to give mental support TO.

After 20 long years ENDING UP getting paid the equivalent of the maintenance staff ( no pun intended here. Some are good cleaners . Others " clean " till their deep pockets break ). A lot of filching from the staff desks is still going on. Anything from your eraser, ball point pen or cheap vinyl umbrella to full bodied Hi-Vision Cameras, lenses, bags, PCs and even full fledged editing equipment.

Wifey never took a thing, got her staff stolen or " borrowed ", behaved, took it all stoically and in the end gets lower salary and equally low s£$tty jobs like today's MUMPS.

IS THIS FAIR???

North Koreans attacked South

SO WHAT !

Yankees didn't do s£$t nor did the South Gook army.

Luckily only a few died...

Kim DUD Ill showing off to new kid in town and son (?) Kim Dong Ill : ' See how your daddy is not only a dying diabetic horny toad? He can still rattle the South brethren cage. '

" This my son, is my parting initiation gift to you. Remember that money talks but it sings when synced with a few well placed artillery shots and a DUD miss-ille or two. Remember that mah son and may the Force be with you "

Initiation done both of them went to the same barber because they needed to have the same haircut style ( mine looks a lot like theirs too. A good point in case Zippangu gets invaded while I'm alive. HeHeHe ).

Barber has a couple of semi virgin daughters he been trying himself on long Winter nights and Kim Dud Ill, too ill to to get it up told son Kim Dung Ill to bang them skinny sluts, while he and the 280 " Metallic Generals " and concubines watched it all on the screen of course, to take poontang odor of the Swiss tarts ( Heidi , Helga , Ingrid und Lilly ) furnished by the Swiss private school KimDung Ill was stuck in, courtesy of Ze Sviss Government und Banks, that goes without saying of course. Heck , I said it anyway.

A great classic movie buff, like a Brit I know, Kim Dung Ill will put The Third Man BGM as a back ground while Kim Dung Ill bangs them skinny sluts and before the Orgy is over the BGM will be " the show Must Go On " from a movie I cant remember now.

That done, Father, son and the 280 metallic decorated Generals, not forgetting the bitch that announces on North Gook Television, a well known Kim Dud Ill tart, will get into the Swiss , Deutch ( suppose Ulrich Alber De technology not involved in that moving brothel 'cos it works smoothly ) made train and ride it into Chinkland to continue the initiation orgy. Chink bitches takes it in the arse and mouth ( not the other way around ) . Throwing in a few boyz too and perhaps a dog or two for the bestiality bit.

Meanwhile Hussein Barrack Village People Boyz (officially 28.000 of them of all genders and creeds ) keep on hiding in their useless Gook bases and trotting Walker Hill in Seoul on the look out for North Korean sleepers, to sleep with and get monumentally drunk on beer induced Shoju piss shots.

They all blame the attack on neighborhood Japan ( everybody does it these days ) and its bunch of retarded Diet greedy horny toads that spend tax payers money on Geisha parties, filling their deep pockets with yakuza, Japanese born Korean Pachinko owners gaff and throw insults at each other day in and day out to keep warm, time cards AND NHK content ...

Will the North Koreans go back for seconds today? NOT LIKELY!!

Too busy having fun and using Gook drugs ( Chabu, they learned the knowhow from the WWWII Japanese Kamikaze ) with the Chink, Russian tarts and faggots.

But like that Austrian steroid taking ass and G'venor of Kaliphornya loves to say when leaving L.A.'s whore houses : AH'LL BE BACK !!

You can bet your Kimchi eating South Korean arses on that.

Joke time

A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, ... 'why not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbour , that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah ! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... .doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence...

'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ....nomattah...all same ! !

Gumpiness is...

...a double edged long heavy Damocles sword.

It hangs over my head and I never know what happens next. It can be fun, mostly after the fact but I can not hide underneath a comfy rock like other common folks can. No mater what, even staying home, shutting my door and windows, GUMPINESS still bugs and tortures me. Gumpiness is a sneaky one. It uses my strong and weak points freely. It hides in various forms of faces and moods. It calls itself all kinds of aliases.

Sometimes, it even passes by so fast and with such stealth that I only notice it was here after something else happens another day or another time when I do my Deja Vu or check a pic or a video I took. Many times others tell me about Gumpiness naughty stance and how it gave them a scare or two. Of course they blame it all on me. Reasonably I can't tell them it wasn't me but Gumpiness that did it all, of course.

I've often asked myself:

WHY IT HAS TO HAPPEN TO ME ?!?! WHY ME ?! WHY DOES S$%T HAVE TO HAPPEN AND FLY ALL AROUND ME ?! WHY ???

Another day has started. I will try to move softly and behave like others cos I long for a normal day or even a week without Gumpiness passing by, stopping and tickling my balls, rattling my cage, jerk my chain, ad nauseam, ad INFINITUM...

Thank You Spanish Government

My fave story of today is this one...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11627351

So now it's very easy to spot Spanish whores (as if it wasn't before).

Day by Day Blues

Trying to find out why am I in such a gauntlet. I set my old iPod on, put on my favorite old cap, try to shut my yes and listen to music. Hoping not get caught by all these question marks that like meteorites, shoot and pass by me at an incredible speed.

And find the answer to my unanswered questions.

Trying hard to find out what the f$%k did I do? When did I get derailed from my usual path? I think I lost my aura and the path while the coma in the ICU ward.

I thought I'd got out light, from Death's embrace. That the Devil let me go because I wasn't worth the risk to create mayhem in his turf: Hades. I was full of spunk when observing others in my situation wondering why were they depressed when there was so much to do. So many soft and sore points to care about and destroy. I had survived and thought I'd find a stronger reason to live for since, I had reached the peak during the 49 years I'd lived. I'D MADE IT !!! Little did I knew what I had coming four years later...

I lost contact with all of them from the 6th floor except one guy: TERU.

TERU isn't an amputee. He lived in Shanghai for almost ten years and as destiny would have it, one day he jumped from a window all the way down. Dunno what floor he fell from, NOR THE REAL REASON WHY. But for a confused BOTCHAMA, spoiled brat, he made it all the way to Shanghai, lived and worked there, I suspected he had good times and then that day came; he jumped. His legs buckled under and sort of almost penetrated his stomach with the impact, but he was alive albeit a dozen centimeters shorter, so to speak.

Who, I didn't ask, he didn't volunteer either, had got him into Tokyo and on the same floor as I ended up in? The NORO virus infested ward of the Kokusai Iriyo Center, Shinjuku ward, in the Winter of 2006. He had been there long before I and we sort of established a bound that only two of a kind could. He was still there when I left for another hospital not too far on X'mas Eve 2006.

Last time he and I met was at Ben's before he got a job as a graphic designer for an obscure company about two years ago. He hoped to make it fast but he stuck to what little valuable advice I had given him while we were " guests " of the NORO VIRUS ward:

DONT HURRY, DONT FRET, DONT GIVE UP, TAKE IT DAY BY DAY.

Somehow Teru took that advice to heart, stored his hyper energy and did just what I told him: he took it DAY by DAY. From one company to yet another even more obscure one he is still going strong and his legs just like him, are taking it DAY by DAY.

He WALKS. With a gait, sometimes getting tired easily but he WALKS THE WALK.

If I am this good at coaching others, why am I not good at coaching myself back to the old days minus over indulgence with booze, cigars, food, etc...? Why am I not, like TERU, able to concentrate and take it DAY by DAY? Why do I keep on attracting more and more burdening situations and meeting blood sucking leeches on every f$%king corner and paths I tread by on my Kraut power chair?

There must be somewhere around my sleepless nights an answer. Once the answer gets to me, so will the proper solution and aftercare will occur ( that said with a pinch of salt ). The problem is: will the ANSWER if it comes, come too late? Too late to practice the DAY by DAY philosophy I induced to TERU and others? Will IT ( the answer ) pop out when I am so damn depressed that when I wrap that hemp rope noose around my neck and give myself a final ticket to Hades I won't be able to abort the whole trip out of this f$%king world I'm in?

I guess s$%t does happen and not even I will be able to stop it from flying. My hope is that when I go, I will take a few of these scumbags that are onto me, to HELL. Go with panache.

It's back to Sting and the Cage of Souls gig I am listening to now while keeping on searching for an answer I suspect might have passed by me without noticing it.

As I hope to take a few scumbags in advance or with me when I croak I wait for day light to come wishing, that like the sun, the moon AND ol'Teru I could also enter their DAY by DAY monotony instead of suffering from insomnia, melancholy, anger, anguish, hate and live my short life looking for an answer I suspect will never find before I go.

Rant dedicated to TERU

Dissing Kraut efficiency part 3

I got some nice pictures from Alber so I sent them a reply...

Dear Philipp ,

I thank thee for thy kind reply although they aren't giving me ANY concrete answers. The photos of the tyres are interesting but would be complete if you kindly told me where to import them from, including a website or email addresses where I can enquire about them. You made it all too clear that Ul- Rich Alber.De washes it's greedy paws off of whatever deal I might reach, with the tyre and parts maker(s). THAT is unfortunately the only concrete reply I got from you during the HCR short chat.

No need to repeat yourself all over again is there ? I had my limb chopped off, but, unfortunately for the likes of you, NOT my brain. I understand and won't blame your company for being happy and ridding the AA without slipping on mouse or cockroach piss wet typical Tokyo streets surfaces. That, so far, it is what I have been getting from you. All the rest of your missive is useless crap. Korean F1 Racing and their tyres too is not an issue. The drivers aren't disabled ( mentally yes ) nor amputees. Their polluting noisy gizmos aren't designed nor made by ul-Rich Alber.De neither. Too bad, I would love to see them polluting s$%ty toy, crash and burn to a cinder. They are mental but not retarded and they are loaded with sponsors enough to get a pair of ultra expensive tyres for every damn mile they speed by if they want.

Unlike me. All I wanted was some consideration from you and your so called INNOVATORS by considering to IMPROVE the chair. Hasn't your big cheese what's-his-name received the " Top Innovator Prize " recently? I can't see what innovation the Adventure got. Every single day when I ride that squeaking noisy panzer has had , when my tyres / engine returned from your " Mobility is Frei " hidden factory at least three times ... Check the records if you guys have any.

What I know and fear most is that the future clientele of disabled handicapped silent lambs that purchase your goods will HAVE TO PAY for that useless trip of yours to Tokyo and for the bribes Ul-Rich Alber.De paid to the Vienna zo-und-zo professors and others to get that " Top Innovation Prize " that that company of yours is bragging about.

Nor I find it amusing that you sat on a wheelchair while giving me more patronizing goofy questions to my own questions nor that you didn't find me worthy of getting a business card of yours either.

The only thing I can thing why no business card came forward was that you came here on a paid vacation and that the reason you sat on a wheelchair while " chatting " with me was the very same reason that I do when facing a big mean dog ; I look it in the eye at same height.

A German lady friend of mine emailed me pictures of the Ul-Rich Alber sales staff during the Exhibition in Germany ( forgot the name of that circus ) and most of them were sitting on wheelchairs when chatting up future clients etc. Must be an Ul-Rich Alber policy . To look us gimps in the eye when chatting. Irritating habit. As irritating as your way of giving me questions instead of answers I asked to make me comfortable and some how believe that I JUST might be partially wrong. But you goofed on all accounts. I wasn't disappointed. You are a low level goofball and will never be promoted. No wonder poor Sigrid Beiter looks dog tired.

That you over there simply do not give a s$%t about the FAR AWAY clients here in the Land of the Rising Sun and do not read the files regarding repairs, just shows that my fears ARE true. Alber is a greedy enterprise and doesn't give a flying f&%k about the likes of me here in far away Asia.

More proof is that you didn't even bother to ask neither Herr Mine nor anybody else about where I was born and gave me patronizing more crap about FIFA and the garlic eating neighboring Korean F 1 race crap.

I am still waiting for ; my chassis , engine , tyres to be returned overhauled with a detailed report of what is wrong with the kit and caboodle. That toy costs an arm and a leg , literally and I am not super rich. I got to stick to what I wasted money in, BUT demand full report on what so far Ul-Rich Alber.De has been doing to MY chair from the moment I purchased it till now. THAT will be an innovation ; To treat the client the due consideration he or she deserves.

I am waiting for that documentation you told me Alber sends to their clients ( The living ones of course ) Instead of bullshit about Germany being beaten by the Spaniards in the semi finals. I am not interested nor got the time to stay awake all night seeing a bunch of grown up ghetto boyz playing a game that has been arranged in advance. Or haven't you seen your own TV news about the bribes paid that were in advance ? Oops , I forgot that there is a possibility that Ul-Rich Alber.De bribed the Wiener whats-his-name professor UND the others so that it could get the " Top Innovation Prize ". You should instead ask all of us IF YOU DESERVED SUCH A PRIZE , no matter how useless it is.

WE GOT THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE and not some old paedo fart from shit knows who Austrian University. The so-called " Top Innovation Prize " should have been given to Alber AFTER double checking on Ul-Rich Alber's past UND future fiascos and f6%k ups from the moment it decided to leech from the Disabled . All that crap about Global Enterprising could be amusing IF I didn't see that in reality , the joke is on me and the other handicapped.

" Japan being ZO far away " is an even crappier excuse. We aren't that far when it comes for you leeches to fill up your deep pockets with our hard earned currency, the yen. The Alber Japan team is excellent, not because they are your distributors per se, but because they happen to care about the clients and have a CONSCIENCE. The last word doesn't exist in the Ul-Rich Alber.De Dictionary anyway . Learn it : CONSCIENCE. While you at it, learn some more crucial words that Alber JP practices without going thru that cram classroom you so keen to tell everybody about on the website : HONESTY . INTEGRITY . KINDNESS . TRUTH . FAIRNESS and some more foreign words to all of you @ Ul-Rich Alber.De

Finally but not least, Japan has FOUR SEASONS like in your far away GERMANY. We got mountains, beaches, plains, forests, rice paddies, highway , ultra modern high speed, ACCIDENT FREE bullet trains ( unlike in your country, maybe them lethal weapons you call high speed trains are designed by the " Top Innovator the one and only Ul-Rich Alber.De ?? ) UND a whole lot more including bad mean streets full of pot holes and prodding manholes, traffic jams, corrupt cops and ministry of health buzzards, whores, faggots, drug addicts, Islamists, Jews, Communists, Yakuza, Nigerian / Ghanian scum, possessive fake democratic Yankees, lots of Chinks, Russians, ugly UND pretty bitches, fat UND skinny twats UND quite a few KRAUTS goose stepping around with loud booming voices as if Tokyo and Tokyoites are supposed to listen to their fucked up Vs / UNDs intonations. Gott in Himmel.

Spike snow tyres have been against Japanese law for more than a decade UND your stupid snow chain is almost impossible for one legged rascals like me to install, let alone major handicapped people like Mr. Yokoyama, another " proud " owner of an Alber Adventure paralyzed from the neck down at the tender age of 24. Can your dumb brain imagine the two of us in different parts of Tokyo trying to install the stupid snow chain on a cold snowing day? Instead , why doesn't Ul-Rich Alber.De shove those stupid soft slippery tyres up their GROSSE asses UNDgive us proper tyres almost like the one you sent on the pictures?!

Since you all greedy, you might as well sell the tyres as optional parts. Get two or three type of tyres done by your country potato eating hicks and put them as options for sale.

Get in touch with the two engineers in the Alber Jp team ( Kouso and Harigai ). NOT Herr Mine because he, although a nice person, is a sales man. Herr Mine lost a lot of his old fire and I suspect got very sick because he couldn't spend that fire Zapping SCHMUCKS like you back into reality. HARIGAI is the one with the fire in his veins and the one that would love to kick your fake engineers in the ass. UND believe me Mine Herr , Harigai hates your negligent attitude because he IS A PRO. Kouzo too, but he is the peaceful type and prefers to wait till Ul-Rich Alber.De gets in deep trouble to stick a needle into your coffin , so to speak.

ACH , here I am sending you another long message UND it Vill take another Veek for you to reply. If I'm lucky of course.

Take that finger off your nose and get active INNOVATING things. Von't you?

Do not forget, if you please, to send me the info you'd promised, once upon a time in Tokyo.

One more thing ;

Do not pull my leg not treat me as a retard.

I will edit the videos I got of the Alber Adventure rattling UND squeaking away here in Tokyo in my Utube gig ; TOKYOUNCLASSIFIEDS or MOBILITYPRO.

Together with my blog and website, that ought to raise a few eyebrows about the " Top Innovator Prize " your employer got . also about the claims of " Satisfied World Wide clientele you hint in that Alber.De delusional website of yours.

Zo , Vats gonna be Herr Philipp Preugschas ?

Ze Carrot or Ze schtick ?

Best regards

Antonio in the Big Mikkan ( Tokyo )

Dissing Kraut efficiency part 2 (tires issue )

Mon 18/10/2010 22:37

Mister Preugschas :

I understood that you had a busy season. Me and Harigai were waiting for eagerly for your email. Better later than ever I guess.

It is obvious that your didn't listen to what I tried to explain during that hour that we were more or less communicating. Understandable since you NEVER gave me concrete answers. Most of what I got from your were questions instead of answers. In short you often " answered " me with more questions. I suppose that is what you were instructed to do during that training class Alber is so proudly displaying on it's web site. But I took it all and in the end I got a little ray of hope when you told me that you would get me the info on the tires and other goodies for the Adventure. I understood that your manager (the tired looking female in the website, the one that branded me a Bad , Mean Boy) knew where I could get Non-slippery, ground gripping useful tyres from. If you were listening to me you would understand that the main problems with the Adventure were :

* BAD ROAD GRIP AND TOO EASY TO PUNCTURE TYRES

>> I told you that I was sometimes almost thrown onto the road because the tyres went over air conditioner compressor water, wet manholes and more wet surfaces that are common here in Tokyo. The tyres are so bad that I suppose cat or rat piss would render them as slippery. The first tyres were hard and never gave trouble apart from non grip hazard BUT the second tyres were so soft that a tree branch punctured a hole right thru the right tyre like a hot knife on butter. It is obvious that your quality control in charge people in Thailand aren't that intense on their job. Too long nights at the local hen house perhaps?

OR I might just be to DAMN unlucky and got the rotten apple ...

BUT as rotten apples go, I , not only got faulty tyres but just as often from the start the engine itself grunts and rattles like your Panzers must have done in the WWII and speed got hindered to snail pace together with battery life shortened too due to the engine getting semi stuck. As battery goes, soon after getting the AA, the battery charger ( Made in Canada or so it is written ) stopped charging. The fan stopped and overheated. This only after a few months.

Kindly ask Mine for the info on exact date.

Alber Japan, as usual, reacted fast and a day after I got a brand new charger and till now no problems with it. Another rotten apple? The engine was changed four or five ( maybe more ) times during these three years I've had the chair. Alber JP sent it to your factory for repairs or to change for new one and it always got sent back with a " no problem found " sticker so to speak.

Alber Germany always have a reason or two for not to do what they should do, I understood that you guys even were too busy with the FIFA World Cup Games to bother to react FAST.

Tires, like I wrote above, were punctured three times and once even during last year's HCR Exhibition too a nail punctured a tire. This was immediately taken care by the Alber team engineer Kouzo. As often I want to mention, IF NOT FOR THE ALBER JP TEAM SWIFTNESS AND FAST REACTION, I would be suffering from PTSD .

If Alber JP were as slow, uninterested and poker faced as Alber Germany is, then I would be even more unhappy and sue the company in court. I am lucky that Mine's team are dedicated and improvise fast in every emergency. A mister Yokoyama too will say the same.

I got pictures and videos of most of these mishaps. But I think you aren't interested in giving concrete answers are you? Alber Germany logo should be ; we don't feed the fishes we caught.

When you told me a new Alber adventure version will come out soon, I was hopping that it was a REAL new version ; Engine fixed NOT to creak and squeal like a damn drowning rat like it often does ( try to ride that gizmo EVERYDAY five or more hours at the time with the tires squealing like mine do ). Better gripping tyres specially on wet surfaces. Both front and back light VISIBLE to other drivers instead of the passing by for terriers and mini poodles canine population. Improved suspension and so on.

No such chance . If what you told me is correct, the " New version " will only be painted black and a slight improvement on the chair. Must be a Global plot because most of the dead stock exhibited by many dealers as " new items " in Tokyo's HCR are painted different or got different threads and they add a colorful bicycle bell BUT they are exactly the same junk as the previous years ... I have been photographing most of the suspected companies for some years now and I know what I am talking about. I sincerely hopped that Alber wouldn't use the same sham , but it was all in vain .

I don't want to waste your time, you might have to party somewhere but can I have the info on the tires and other spare items you told me about last time? Put me on your client list too and send me the inquires you told me of. I will gladly answer to your questions in that document. Will eagerly wait and see how far will my PLEAS be taken positively care of.

FIFA World Cup won't happen for another four years. I hope that the Alber situation will improve. Then and only then I will gladly stop bitching and ranting unless I will be thrown under a bus or 4 ton truck somewhere UND die on the mean streets of Tokyo thanks to those slippery shameful tires Alber is so partial to and by the way, you haven't seen the REAL Tokyo streets . 70% aren't flat and are traps , some lethal for wheelchair bearers like I.

Kindly remember Herr Preugschas, last year in Tokyo alone 9 people died in various forms of wheelchair accidents due to negligence by dittowheelchair makers. The negligence from both the Ministry of Public Works in Japan and faulty, dead stock wheelchair design were the main factors that caused those lethal accidents. QUIX would be a candidate for a Lethal weapon too. I hope the only Quix I knew and tried for one month has been recalled ONCE AND FOR ALL. By the way , is that old biddy in the Quix add on uppers ? She seems to be ridding that crappy toy a little too damn fast . Or , as usual, di you guys simply fast forwarded the ride ?

Check these pictures out : The QUIX kept on falling off my wheelchair ( ZOUPUR like you called it ) , once while crossing a rail road crossing ...

Is that crappy gizmo yet another one of Ulrich Alber.De " Top Innovations "

I hope you haven't fallen asleep UND that my English wasn't too hard for you .

Now could I have ZE info you'd promised to send me?

Can I?

UND CAN I GET MY ALBER ADVENTURE VEELBASE UND ENGINE BACK FROM GERMANY R-E-P-A-I-R-E-d UND OVERHAULED SOON?!?!?

Life for me is SHORT .

Can't wait till my right limb grows back or the next FIFA Cup games.

Can I??

Please give my best to Sigrid Beiter.

Tell her I am not that such a bad guy.

I am worst on a good day. Alber Germany doesn't want to see me on a bad day ...

Now, lets see how long it will be till you send me the info on the tires UND the factory sends my overhauled, repaired chair back. Boosted up UND ready to kick ass here in Tokyo.

Sincerely UND truly yours

Antonio

Dissing Kraut efficiency part 1

My tank has been having a "service" ( one of many these past three years ) for over a month. I talked the Ulrich Alber.De people at the recent HRC in Tokyo. Here is part one of the follow-up communication.

Von : AK.57 ,Tokyo

To: Preugschas Philipp

Greetings from Tokyo.

Hope you had a nice trip home and that you haven't forgotten your vows as well I haven't mine.

The ball is in your yard for now.

Here is the US wheelchair Rant pages BUT there are a lot more where that came from;

http://www.usatechguide.org/itemreview.php?itemid=934

Antonio from Tokyo - Japan submitted thisreview on August 27th 2008 at 11:41 PM.Antonio is an end user who has six months to a year of experience with the product. Strengths: Stylish , speedy , tough and good general performance . Good at railroad crossings too (believe me Tokyo's are MEAN and treacherous ) AA goes thru them easy. Got a good feeling ridding it specialy when I know the batteries can give me a good distance span compared to my old Jazzy or Panasonic scooter. Weaknesses: Battery charger gave up the ghost less than six months of usage and if Alber Japan staff weren't competent , I would end up with a piece of junk on my doorway while the Germans decided to send another charger after the Summer holidays and the World Cup were over. No reason on why that happened came yet from Germany . The rear left wheel too ratled a lot and the performance in general of the chair was hindered because of that .The rear wheels fishtail on certain surfaces too. got to be careful when breaking too on top of manholes and other surfaces . uselless to try and you'd better get ready for impact . Plastic parts are weak and why should I pay for Alber's mistakes everytime I need to replace something that was faulty from the start ?Aber Germany better change their attitude . Comments: I general it's a good chair . Just wish Alber Germany cared more , knew the different between Asian raods / streets and the weather too . Or simply admited they screwed up on certain points . Sent spare hubcaps an extra battery charger with the chair when sold . It is after all a very expensive golf cart . Alber could do better if they put their hearts into it . Durability?

Ease of use?

Meet expectations?

Overall Rating:

EXPENSIVE KRAUT GOLF KART !! C-R-A-P

Hope to hear positively from you and the Alber Rat Pack Geniuses. Try to remember that not all disabled are silent lambs waiting by the slaughter house gates to walk the Green Mile. As long as I live I will go on trying to make weaker ones happier no matter the cost. Once I croak and go to Hell, I will keep on doing the same thing next to the Devil. Between you and me, He didn't like the idea of me being next to Him that soon so he took my leg instead . Devilish bastard isn't he?

Hope to hear from you soon and give my best to your " dear " college Sigrid Beiter. She looks tired in that corporate picture. My fault perhaps? HeHe.

Regards from Tokyo .

Antonio

2 bodies found with stab wounds after fire in Tokyo

http://www.japantoday.com/category/shukan-post/view/murdered-tokyo-couple-had-cash-stashed-all-over-the-house

http://www.japantoday.com/category/crime/view/tokyo-landlord-and-his-wife-stabbed-and-beaten-to-death-before-house-set-on-fire "

I intend to HIGHLIGHT the old rich couple and LANDLORDS, the Setas that got murdered and their vast property burned to the ground last year. Almost behind my other house, the area was alive for a week with Media assholes, Media helicopters hovering about and Media 70,000 yen a day rental limos, blocking the Kawagoe Kaido for kilometers.

Local biddies were whispering in every nook and cranny of the area and although the cops stood by for a couple of weeks, they got tired of picking their hairy noses and decamped leaving one or two of those typical useless " Looking for witnesses " hand written billboards that in fact cover the most important spots that need to be open for cycles and wheelchairs alike to see the traffic clearly.

Like the Pachinko SHOGUN murder a few years back in the infamous HAPPY ROAD OYAMA aka MISERY ROAD OYAMA, not a whisper and the POLICE most probably know who did it in both cases but do nothing because whoever murdered both the Seta couple and the poor (?) schmuck on the Pachinko outer stairs in full public view, might just be one of them or related to them...

The SETA old geezers were famous for not trusting banks to of course public servants and had a lot of stash laying about in their large old style house. According to the gossip, they wasted a of minimum 100,000 yen per day on Pachinko and NOMIYA. The woman looked like what I call a SHONBEM GEISHA one of those old whores that entertained the McArthur GI's and the guy, a more quiet type, must have had a few MIZUKO around cos he looked like the bad ass type that went after young local girls, banged them and made them pregnant. The part about the old guy is speculation by me and some others : Everybody has a different opinion on the Seta couple, their activities and their perverted habits. We know that 'Opinions are like ass holes in that everybody has one'. Some even have two and some got their ass holes widened from being banged in the arse. Just like the opinions I keep on hearing every time I ask a different person about the SETA SATSUJIN JIKKEN.

I used to love to pass by their property. Beautiful old majestic trees where all sorts of birds sang, insects chirped and the whole view was enough to make a GAIJIN imagination run back to Meiji period. The main gate, always chained, too was unique pseudo European.

For me a touch of corrupted history. A fat cat too was often looking at me from inside that gate every time I took a pic of the it in a different season. Never as much moved a little bit. Just staring. Gossip goes that the cat died in the inferno that proceeded the murder. I got pics of it -the cat I mean.

But there was a white cat , that often followed me every time I passed by and went on stalking me up to the main station ( Naka Itabashi ) as if it had something to tell me. Once I reached the station area, it just sat in the middle of the alley and watched me going about my life. As time went by, I found that the local sushi shop, a local virago house, a barber and who knows who else, owned a cat like the Seta white one. They all shared the same looks except the Seta cat (SETANIYAN) as I called it, had almost humanoid features and almost every time I went by, it followed me from not too afar till the same spot, the alley by the station. The Sushi shop cat I named SUSHINHIYAN, the old virago's SHINNHIYAN cos the virago name plate started with a SHIN and the Barber's NOCCENHIYAN because it was in a barber shop and the famous opera, Figaro the barber of Sevilla title in Italian.

SETANHIYAN, I found out to my delight, is still around and has a smaller version with it. Although the area stank of burned wood and more for months - still does - yellow 'Do not cross' police tape is everywhere and in need of replacing. SETANHIYAN doesn't stalk me anymore although he approaches me and meows too. Maybe it was trying to tell me about the murder...

The SETA had official property from their house to Ikebooo station everywhere to the value of 90 OKU yen. Parking lots, buildings, some not in prime real state but well placed. The area from GEKIJO DORI till KANAI KUBO in Itabashi was the scene of the pre-war black market. Yakuza controlled. Use your imagination and it was ten times worse that you imagine. The SETAS took, filched and threatened their way around like the Komiyas and other now big fat landlords in my area. Families were literally wiped out during the Yankee air raids, some were Korean of origin and Hinin or ETA too. They were exterminated by the KEMPEITAI long before the yanks decided to torch EDO. The SETAS as the good hyenas they were, just registered the properties, bribed a few OHYAKUNIN and lived happy ever after until someone, I suspect, with a thirst for revenge or just greed, murdered them. How much of the stash they took out of the Mayhem, not even the cops, if they know are telling. A few million were left behind according to newspapers and the locals.

The property all is there. The other estate, not to mention the one I am not including here that goes all the way to Kawagoe doubling the sum I mentioned before, are still there BUT who is administrating it all? What will happen to the fortune? Some say the Itabashi Ward in collaboration with the Tokyo Government ( Ishihara Shintaro the depot ) including are wriggling their paws in anticipation. ( TEMOMI 手もみ) in Japanese. Pity I am not a tenant of the SETAS or I would stop paying the rent and see who'd show up to collect.

Can't let it all go like that into the Cold Case cardboard box to grow dust. The Statute of limitations means just that : It fills up buzzards like SHINTARO', Itabashi and Toshima Wards fat cats deep pockets. SHININ NI KUCHINASHI ( the dead don't talk ) is the all too popular creed scumbags use and they often get away with murder, LITERALLY. The blog novel I intend to publish monthly, I am hopping to wake the ever too silent but very curious public interest in the case. ZAPP the media and cops awake . I only fear that, like has happened in the past, the cops and the Koan etc., will lay the blame on some poor innocent bastard like the ASHIKAGA murder case, just to satisfy the public and the MoJ ( Ministry of in-Justice ) quotas but what has to be done has to be done. After a lot of thinking, the right way to do it is to write the SETA MURDER - Ask the cat ... Blog novel. It will be my way to pay back to SETANHIYAN for not having heard it's pleas BEFORE the murder happened.

I am a one legged GAIJIN with a conscience. The worst kind. If the REAL murderers and their accomplices in the POLICE and other PUBLIC SERVICES will be even more rattled it is worth the effort. Animals and plants of all sorts will be the main whistle blowers in this comedy mystery novel. From crows to snails, trees to wild plants, stones and even houses will be the WHISPERERS and guides to the real culprits. A sort of WATERSHIP DOWN fable. Fiction or non-fiction, parody or pure finger pointing, it's all up to the imagination of the few that will read the monthly rant.

All depends on the guilt some might feel, causing FEAR because inside us, we all have ( Not me I hope ) a ' I should have seen it coming and did nothing about it guilty conscience.