Ever found and old dusty fire extinguisher on the street ?

I did.

I called the fire station cos these babes sometimes blow up. The last accident I heard of was a kid in Osaka that got some fingers blown off. A new law says DO NOT TOUCH the thing and call the fire station or even the Koban.

I did.

Fire station guy was very polite. Told me what a good boy I was for calling but could I call the Gomi (rubbish) picking up place, phone number so and so and tell them to collect it? I told him that they already knew about it because of the sticker that the gomi truck guys had stuck to the thing. Needless to say NOBODY came to pick the thing up for three days and this is a road used by school brats on their way to and from school.

I asked "Are you waiting for some curious brat to pick it up and get his tiny pecker blown to smitherines so that in the future he won't be able to f%$k your dear daughter?" (I have a way with words.) "Shall I call Stalag" I continued " and ask if they too build king size prosthetic cocks so that the kid that got his dick blown up because of your stupidity can f%$k you in the ass too mister DEGUCHI?

"No need to get that nasty sir". Deguchi-san said. Well, I think there is...

"I am not getting nasty, I am getting frustrated and am seeing the future and if indeed a kid gets his dick blown up because of your apathy then I will guide him thru his life and teach him all that I know about revenge and of course your name too will be branded in his brain till he gets vengeance. For a fire man you are a disgrace. As a human you are even lower. Scum. I then gave him my name, address and keitai name . Told him I'll be watching you and hung up.

"Call the gomi place" he said.

I did...

I gave the zombie the fireman's name and told him what he said. The guy was smooth and took me for idiot. He said if I threw the thing way I should call a professional disposing company and pay them 3,000 yen for them to come and pick it up. I told him I will bring the f%$king time bomb to his office and throw it in it from the outside and hope it blows him to bits. Then I will dig out my chop sticks and personally eat his raw stinking carcass IF he didn't haul his fat ass and come and pick the thing up before innocent people get blown to pieces along with my living room window with them. If the thing doesn't blow at first throw then I will knock his f%$ked up head on it till it blows or his brain spill out. Then I will grab the chop sticks, sprinkle spices on his tiny brain pieces and gladly have them for lunch.

I told him I just came out of that crazy lunatic joint in Yahata, Setagaya where I was locked up for cannibalism and got my demented person card just like the guy that ate the Dutch young woman in Paris who is my mentor . So what's gonna be? Are you going to haul your faggot ass to my area, pick the bomb up and we forget all about it TODAY Tuesday , December the 22nd before noon or I will have you for X'mas Eve dinner?

Then I gave him the coordinates, my name and phone number and told him " You got two hours to drive here and pick it up or I am coming to your shit house by 1 PM.

Hang up.

Sure enough, a truck passed by around 11:30. They took a few pics of the thing and the area and took it away all the time pussyfooting in case Hannibal came out and picked their brains .

Shame...I didn't get my meal.